That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
