she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
