Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
