is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How does one acquire holy water?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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