We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
