there's paper in my vomit.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
