So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
