we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
