we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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