Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
