You're so nebulous sometimes
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
The best walk of shames are on the highway
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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