my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
