yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
