it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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