And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
