i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
