Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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