Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
