bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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