It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
