There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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