do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
