She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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