he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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