So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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