I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
did i walk over a car last night?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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