i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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