I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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