Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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