his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
