SEEEEXXX PLEASE
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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