i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
