I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
