I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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