he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
