if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
