So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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