this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
