there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
