Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Two words: blizzard sex
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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