lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I had to cum in my sink.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
