Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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