the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
