I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
as a side note pls kill me
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