Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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