No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
