do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
