oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
