he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
