I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
