I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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