Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
