plz talk dirty to me
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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