I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's shark week go big or go home
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
